A New Beginning

The new year crept up on me too fast!  It's been over a month since my last post, and I don't know how productive necessarily this time has been, but there has been a lot going on.  2016 is bringing so many new things for us though, starting with a wedding, and who knows - maybe new house? new career? new family?

HEALTH

When my medical insurance ran out when I lost my job a few months ago, I could no longer afford the Cymbalta I had been taking for my Fibromyalgia.  The walk-in, sliding-fee clinic I went to just switched me to a different medication with no tapering off or easing in.  BIG MISTAKE!  Now I'm reading a lot of different blogs and articles about the alarming rate of suicides and horrible withdrawal from Cymbalta.  The manufacturer of the drug put out a physician's prescribing guide saying withdrawal symptoms occurred at 1% or greater than patients with placebo -- extremely vague. So now there are many patients trying to sue the manufacturer to get better information available to doctors so they can properly care for their patients taking or stopping the drug.  Fedup With Fatigue blog goes into more detail and offers a lot of helpful information. I became so ill, and even suicidal.  I had enough sense though to recognize these thoughts were not me, I knew it wasn't normal.  I sought help again from the local clinic, and they were able to get me onto a free mental health program so I could stop all my Fibromyalgia medication and monitor my progress.  I am in horrible pain, but mentally and emotionally so much better.  My mind is clearer and I feel more like my old self with some drive for life again.  The doctors have been very encouraging about my attitude - they say most patients in my situation get stuck on opiates and a variety of muscle relaxers, and have a hard time shaking the drugs.  For now, I'm just going to stick to acupuncture & medical marijuana (edible, high in CBD form, or topical patches).  And the next step is to get back in the gym and do some yoga.  Through this whole ordeal, if I can take away anything positive, it is that Stephen has been by my side, holding my hand the whole way through.  He breaks the mold.  I know I can count on him and my excitement to be married to him has grown even more.  Speaking of which...


WEDDING PLANNING

I was not content to be completely unproductive these past 2 mostly bed-ridden months.  Thanks to sites like Pinterest, Etsy, & Amazon, I was able to get most of my wedding planning and shopping done.  I had my invitations made from some of our engagement photos and finalized our guest list.  My living room looks like a tornado hit it (bad joke considering there has been a tornado warning for San Diego county these past couple days).  Seriously, boxes everywhere.  Stuff keeps arriving every day.  There are still some final details that need to be ironed out, but its coming together quickly and I can't believe there is little over 2 months left till the big day.  I am so thankful for our good friends who have been so kind to offer help.  Hopefully I'll be done with this withdrawal crap soon so I can really take charge and make this wedding happen without any glitches!

A SIDE TRIP

In the middle of December, while still going through the worst part of withdrawal, Stephen and I took a trip up the California coast to Monterey.  This is where his grandparents live, and since they are both turning 91 this year, they aren't really in good enough condition to travel down to San Diego for our wedding.  I already love them as my own grandparents - both with their unique stories and personalities.  Grandma's advice to us?  DON'T GET OLD! She made that one very clear.  Unfortunately, the happy, joking grandma that I met that first night was not having it the next day.  She refused any visitors for the rest of our 2 days there, a disheartening reality check of the volatility of Alzheimer's.  It hit home for me pretty deeply, grandma's feeling of being done with life.  She's tired and in pain and can't function the way she used to.  Those are the same thoughts I had been grappling with myself when I changed medications.  I'm determined not to let the Fibromyalgia mess with my mind like that again!  More meditation and happy thoughts are in store, with a reminder that Stephen's grandma has lived a full life and deserves the right to think that way, while I still have so much more to do!  I know this has all been hard for Stephen, and I am glad I could be with him on this trip and be a part of his family.

We did get to see a bit of the town while we were there.  The beautiful areas along the coast in downtown, Cannery Road, Fisherman's Wharf.



Can't forget the amazing Monterey Aquarium, with all the beautiful varieties of sea life.
Where's Nemo?
Jellin with the Jellies
Couple of cuddly eels
Cuttlefish not looking as cuddly as the eels

Penguins & Puffins making a splash

Not far from the Aquarium, we discovered Monterey's Tasty Olive Bar.  They have so many different balsamics and olive oils to choose from, and all are available for free tastings.  Our favorites were the Cara-Cara Orange/Vanilla white balsamic vinegar and the Chipotle olive oil, so we brought home bottles of these.  They also had a lot of beautiful ceramics and luxurious hand made olive oil soaps and lotions. We will definitely have to go back there when we're back in town so we can stock up - we've enjoyed the balsamic & oil so much as dressings and sauces, giving some of our dishes unique flavor that can't be replicated.

Another place we'll go back to is Caffe Trieste.  This little cafe had such a great menu of different breakfasts, desserts, and Italian food, many with their own unique twist.  They serve coffee and tea, but also have beer & wine.  We ended up going there twice during our stay.  

On our way back home, we stopped in Paso Robles at the Tobin James winery.  Stephen had tried their wine at a party before and remembered how great it was, and apparently, many of the wineries in that area offer free tastings (unheard of in San Diego and Temecula, where you can seldom find tastings under $10-$20!).  We ended up bringing home 6 bottles of wine, which came in handy when meeting up with friends and family during the holidays!

So yeah... that sums up some of my recent days. Seeing Stephen's grandparents made me reflect a lot on life.  They've been through a lot in their lives, and they are still together. I saw some of that stubbornness and dedication in Stephen when I was sick.  I see that same dedication between his parents who are the best of friends.  I'm not blind; I know there will be a lot of challenges for us - that's just part of life. But I have hope that will be us when we're 90 - a partnership and friendship through thick and thin.  And it all makes me warm and fuzzy and excited for our new beginning!

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