Fibro-huh? (Part 2, Coping with Fibromyalgia)
I'll be honest - I've put off working on this entry for the past few days because frankly, I haven't been coping too well myself. The stress of losing my job, planning my wedding, moving my fiance into my condo and working on getting his place sold has been pretty overwhelming - contributing to a major Fibro flare. But life has to go on right?
So how does one cope with a flare and just the general, every day pain, fatigue, & foggy brain?
Many of the sufferers out there are still working full time and have families they need to take care of. We pretty much smile through the pain and get on with our lives, but there are a few things that help.
I'd say having an understanding support system is a huge help, for me in particular. I am so lucky that while I was working, my fiance Stephen was and is super supportive about helping out around the house and doing a lot of the cooking. My dear cousin, who lived with me for a time, also took a lot of the pressure off with helping around the house and being a great listener and never judging me on the days when I could barely move - always my perfect partner in crime to stay in and binge watch TV shows and talk smack till we laughed our heads off. All my wonderful friends have been supportive in the ways they have been understanding when I haven't been able to be as social as I used to, and were flexible when I needed to change plans or plan in advance so I could have enough energy allocated for whatever activity we were doing.
And that's just the thing - allocation. You start to change your day to day life when you have a chronic illness. You don't think of things in terms of just time any more; you think about how you're going to allocate your energy for things. You think about the minute details of everything you do - if I do this activity, what will be the outcome or consequence? Will it be worth it, or a waste of time & energy? You learn to pick and choose your battles. A lot of people with Fibromyalgia refer to the "Spoon Theory" - spoons represent energy, and normal people have an endless supply of spoons. But if you have Fibromyalgia, you have a very limited supply, so you allocate them out depending on your priorities for the day.
Things that have really helped me that I mentioned before are massage & acupuncture. I've been getting acupuncture on a weekly basis for a few months now, and I usually feel much more relaxed and less pain after. This was covered by medical insurance, so that was a big help, but the doctor that I go to has a pretty affordable program for those without insurance too. Feel free to contact me for details if you need an acupuncturist in the San Diego area. Massage is not covered by insurance, but I have found that Chinese massage works a lot better for me than Swedish or other Western style massage, and its a lot cheaper too at only $25. In this type of massage, you sit in a reclining chair & soak your feet in hot water with herbs while they massage your upper body. Then they run through a reflexology routine on your feet, stimulating the different nerve endings that correspond to the different organs of your body. They then have you turn lying face down while they pull your arms and legs in various stretches, and do some deep tissue work on your back, neck, and shoulders. They really hit every area of the body much better than any of the massages I've had in fancy spas, all for the unbelievably low price of $25/hour. (This will never beat the wonderful 2 hour massage I had in Thailand for only $10, for a massage state-side, that's still cheap enough to go once a week!)
Also important is to be aware of the types of foods that can cause inflammation vs the types of foods and herbs that can help. Caffeine is a pretty bad one for inflammation, but for a lot of people who work or have kids, its the only way we can wake up enough to get going so we have to counteract some of the pain that ensues. Things like turmeric, cinnamon, ginger, & rose water all have natural anti-inflammatory properties that can help calm flares. Taking proper supplements is key too, since Fibromyalgia seems to cause major deficiencies of Vitamin D, B12, & Magnesium. I've read a lot about being wary of gluten and taking probiotics to balance your body's bacteria levels too; I found so many good articles on Pinterest that explain more of this and have pinned them to my health board so I can frequently reference them as reminders when we are preparing food at home.
Lastly, I think one of the things that helps the most is getting true, good quality, sleep. It is so hard to get comfortable when you're in a lot of pain, that even when you are dead tired with fatigue you can't fall asleep most of the time. And when you do, your brain is constantly waking and seldom gets around to that phase of sleep where your body is truly resting. This puts you in a world of hurt. But if you can at least one day a week take some sort of sleeping aid and get a good deep sleep, it definitely helps.
All said, in the end every one is different. What works for some might not work for all, but the important thing is to keep trying till you figure out what is best for you. The sad part is, this is a very invisible illness. People will simply not understand what you're going through so its better not to have any expectations. Sometimes people can be very hurtful too - we look fine on the outside, so people might think we are being lazy or flakey when some days we just are at our wits end with even getting out of bed. But you just have to stay positive; if you let their words affect you, it will only cause you more stress, which in turn can cause more pain and fatigue. Surround yourself with positive people. Reevaluate your life and eliminate the toxins - whether that be certain people, habits, or foods. Find the balance that's right for you. And if you don't have it but know someone who does, be supportive! This is just as much a reminder to myself to treat myself more kindly and be more understanding of others too. You really do never know what's going on with someone on the inside, no matter how they may look.
So how does one cope with a flare and just the general, every day pain, fatigue, & foggy brain?
Many of the sufferers out there are still working full time and have families they need to take care of. We pretty much smile through the pain and get on with our lives, but there are a few things that help.
I'd say having an understanding support system is a huge help, for me in particular. I am so lucky that while I was working, my fiance Stephen was and is super supportive about helping out around the house and doing a lot of the cooking. My dear cousin, who lived with me for a time, also took a lot of the pressure off with helping around the house and being a great listener and never judging me on the days when I could barely move - always my perfect partner in crime to stay in and binge watch TV shows and talk smack till we laughed our heads off. All my wonderful friends have been supportive in the ways they have been understanding when I haven't been able to be as social as I used to, and were flexible when I needed to change plans or plan in advance so I could have enough energy allocated for whatever activity we were doing.
And that's just the thing - allocation. You start to change your day to day life when you have a chronic illness. You don't think of things in terms of just time any more; you think about how you're going to allocate your energy for things. You think about the minute details of everything you do - if I do this activity, what will be the outcome or consequence? Will it be worth it, or a waste of time & energy? You learn to pick and choose your battles. A lot of people with Fibromyalgia refer to the "Spoon Theory" - spoons represent energy, and normal people have an endless supply of spoons. But if you have Fibromyalgia, you have a very limited supply, so you allocate them out depending on your priorities for the day.
Also important is to be aware of the types of foods that can cause inflammation vs the types of foods and herbs that can help. Caffeine is a pretty bad one for inflammation, but for a lot of people who work or have kids, its the only way we can wake up enough to get going so we have to counteract some of the pain that ensues. Things like turmeric, cinnamon, ginger, & rose water all have natural anti-inflammatory properties that can help calm flares. Taking proper supplements is key too, since Fibromyalgia seems to cause major deficiencies of Vitamin D, B12, & Magnesium. I've read a lot about being wary of gluten and taking probiotics to balance your body's bacteria levels too; I found so many good articles on Pinterest that explain more of this and have pinned them to my health board so I can frequently reference them as reminders when we are preparing food at home.
Lastly, I think one of the things that helps the most is getting true, good quality, sleep. It is so hard to get comfortable when you're in a lot of pain, that even when you are dead tired with fatigue you can't fall asleep most of the time. And when you do, your brain is constantly waking and seldom gets around to that phase of sleep where your body is truly resting. This puts you in a world of hurt. But if you can at least one day a week take some sort of sleeping aid and get a good deep sleep, it definitely helps.
All said, in the end every one is different. What works for some might not work for all, but the important thing is to keep trying till you figure out what is best for you. The sad part is, this is a very invisible illness. People will simply not understand what you're going through so its better not to have any expectations. Sometimes people can be very hurtful too - we look fine on the outside, so people might think we are being lazy or flakey when some days we just are at our wits end with even getting out of bed. But you just have to stay positive; if you let their words affect you, it will only cause you more stress, which in turn can cause more pain and fatigue. Surround yourself with positive people. Reevaluate your life and eliminate the toxins - whether that be certain people, habits, or foods. Find the balance that's right for you. And if you don't have it but know someone who does, be supportive! This is just as much a reminder to myself to treat myself more kindly and be more understanding of others too. You really do never know what's going on with someone on the inside, no matter how they may look.
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